REFLECTIONS IN THE FOG
A few weeks ago we moved to Kennebunkport, Maine for the rest of our summer. This was an exciting but also anxious move. Every year at the end of summer, I tell myself that I wish I had spent the summer in my hometown of Kennebunkport for the summer and every year summer goes by and I feel disappointed I didn't do it. Although it has really only been a few years since I stopped coming home for the summer, it feels like its been forever. Living by the phrase, "live life with no regrets" I finally made the move. Besides, NYC in the summer, as full as life as it is, is also pretty gross and summer in Kennebunkport, Maine is perfect. Hear me out...NYC summer weather is hot, really hot and sticky. The heat is humid and sticks with you all day, you're forced to shower twice a day in order to feel clean. Waiting for the subway, you drip with sweat so that by the time you get to where you want to go you already feel dirty. The smells stick to you and yes the city smells because the sun heats up the trash everywhere. You get the point...moving on...Kennebunkport weather is as I said before, is perfect. There's the sun, the sand and the salty ocean breeze creating the perfect climate that varies between 70˚- 80˚F. At night the air cools down enough where you can wear a light sweater or sweatshirt but it's not a necessity if you don't.
Then you have days like this, where the fog rolls in and everything is serene. It's one of the most peaceful moments you can experience. Looking out onto the sea and seeing nothing but rolling waves dissipating into the fog. I need moments like this. Breathing in the salty air as I look out onto the infinite ocean, I feel awake and calm. I think about everything in my life at this current moment, where I am, where I'm going, what I have done so far. I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff of change. It sounds silly but it's true. I have left the comfort zone of NYC where I have lived for the past 7 years, a place where I learned to survive on my own through college and after. I'm headed towards the unknown. Taking a risk by buying a car and road tripping across the country and moving to Los Angeles, California in the next few months. Yet at the same time, nothing is set, so much could change. It's an uneasy feeling, at times anxiety fills my lungs. Another reason I left NYC was because I simply felt like I couldn't breathe there anymore. The heavy air weighing down on me, my thoughts, my lungs collapsing in on the anxiety. When I look out onto this ocean I breathe in freedom, new beginnings and change. I see the possibilities of the world, of myself, because I know I can do more. I embrace the uncomfortable feeling of escaping my comfort zone, knowing that growth follows. Growth comes when taking a risk in life, when you know there are greater goals to achieve even if the path hasn't been cleared. Knowing that there is a horizon when all you can see is fog.